Subscribe Today

Get free stuff!

Bean Soup Times Gear

 Advertising
 About Us
 Subscriptions
Contact Us
Interns Needed
Send Page To a Friend

Millions of viewers were shocked to discover that the "reporter" they were listening to was in fact the U.S. Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. His identity was apparent after the fake mustache he wore fell as he gave a pseudo report on the value of pipe drilling in Alaska by way of Iraq.

"The White House has the intelligent and economical idea of drilling a pipe from Sadaam's old palace, right through to Alaska. This will conserve energy, money, and time. It’s really, really, really a wonderful idea."

"I knew it was fake before the mustache fell off. He used the word really too many times," said one viewer.

Not only has the Bush Administration admitted to using fake news reporters, but Bush said he uses it as a form of punishment to republican leaders who "get britches too big for their leg…I mean, if you fool me twice, shame on, you can’t keep fooling people," said Bush. "When they get out of line, I make them put on the mustache and pretend to be a reporter. It’s a good means of determent for everyone except Condi. She seems to like wearing a fake mustache," Bush added.

Reportedly, Hastert was caught taking the last cheeseburger during a meeting with the president.

"It may be fake, but it’s accurate," said Bush, while defending the White House’s use of fake news reports and reporters.

"I’m adamantly against the use of inaccurate, fake news reports and anyone in my administration who produces them will be dealt with quickly.

Send Page To a Friend