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Holy Ghost refuses to attend church revival held in between liquor store and pool hall

CHICAGO—Members of the Greatest Holiest Non Catholic Multidenominational Caught in the Rapture Church were incredibly disappointed when the venerable Bishop Maurice “DJ Reese” Woodstone informed them that the Holy Ghost would not be in attendance during the annual revival.

Many members believe the Holy Ghost refused to attend because of the location.
“How the Holy Ghost gonna be present when sin is present on both sides of the revival,” said Willameena Jenkins, president of the two member usher board. “This place is unholy, and I don’t blame the Holy Ghost for not coming.”

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