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Police brutality charge
helps return New Orleans to ‘sense of normalcy’
Looking for ‘cigarettes
while black’ pretty hard in Big Easy
NEW ORLEANS—Desperate
to help New Orleans return to a sense of normalcy, a mob of city police
officers bare fist beat Robert Davis, a 64-year-old retired teacher—who just
happened to be black.
“I’ve lost my home and everything in it, but it sure
was nice to put the hammer down on a black man on Bourbon Street. The
nostalgia nearly brought me to tears. I really had to man up,” said Officer
Walter Beacoup, a veteran cop. “It’s very important that New Orleans
residents displaced all over the country know that we are desperately working
get things back as they were.”
Davis had returned to New Orleans to check on family property. “I don’t
know what’s more shocking, the brutality of the beating or that a black
family still owned property anywhere in the south,” said one witness who
wanted to remain anonymous. “White folks stole all my daddy’s land back in
1945.”
Davis denied police reports that he was drunk. “I
haven’t taken a drink in 25 years,” he said. When asked if he learned
anything from the situation, Davis replied: “Don’t go looking for
cigarettes while black in the French Quarter.”
In related news, police have promised to provide amnesty
to all drug dealers hoping to further encourage junkies to return and boost
the economy. “We hope to give the economy a swift kick,” said the acting
police chief, Terry Frenchy. “Plus, if we have more drug users in the city,
we will have a better pick of folks to beat on.”
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