Satan to Bush: ‘Dude, that’s my shoulder’

WASHINGTON—Controversy erupted when President George W. Bush revealed in "Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush", that he cries a lot due to the stress of his job.

"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I’ll bet I’ve shed more tears than you can count as president," said Bush. The book was released in U.S. bookstores last week.

However, Satan revealed at a press conference that it is actually his shoulder that Bush cries on. "I guess he couldn’t see my red tights, pitchfork, and horns through all the tears," said Satan. "But be assured, that Bush’s tears have fallen on my shoulders, not God’s. In fact, my shoulder blades are still moist."

God confirmed Satan’s revelation. "He’s right. Bush has never gotten close enough to cry on my shoulder; but since he’s been president I have cried like Denzel Washington in Glory. As he performs his presidential duties, I don’t react and then finally a single tear falls down my cheek."

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