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Dear admittedly fake news outlets,

Have you guys been watching the news lately? Of course you have—you’re newspaper guys. You’ve got to stay up on trends that may affect you. That’s like asking Woody Allen if he’s keeping up with the government’s current case against Michael Jackson. I’m sure Woody says, everyday, "there, by the grace of friends in high places, go I."

But before I digress, the New York Times reported that at least 20 federal agencies have made and distributed pre-packaged, ready-to-serve television news segments aimed at promoting President Bush’s policies and initiatives. I don’t know about you, but I’m totally appalled at this revelation.

Congress’ Government Accountability Office determined that these "video news releases" were illegal "covert propaganda" and told federal agencies to stop. But the White House ordered all agencies to disregard Congress’ directives.

So we are not the only fake media outlets. We should be concerned. We’re just among the small minority who admit it. We’ve got to do something about this. When the lines blur between real and fake news, then it not only confuses media consumers, but it can confuse advertisers. I tell advertises that our fake news format creates a unique niche that attracts urban professional. But what can I say now that it’s not so unique.

We must seize the time by educating the public on how to tell the difference between real fake news and unreal fake news. It’s real fake news if the media outlet admits it. It’s unreal fake news if they don’t admit it. So I’ve figured out three fool proof ways to know if you are watching covert, fake news. Take these lessons to heart and remember, free the mind, and your butt will start kicking some butt.

Here are Toure Muhammad’s Top five ways to know you are watching fake news:

5. If the call letters on the microphone being used by the reporter say GWBN (George W. Bush News), you’re watching fake news.

4. If you see Dick Cheney with a fake mustache holding a news reporter microphone, you’re watching fake news.

3. If the reporting signs off saying, this is (Linda Robertson) reporting for the U.S. Department of Lies and Dirty Tricks, you’re watching fake news.

2. If you hear about some great work the government is doing in Afghanistan, but the background looks more like Arizona, you’re watching fake news.

1. If the reporter’s mouth is moving and words are coming out, you’re watching fake news.

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